Getting the Business vs. Trusting I'm Enough – What I'm Still Unlearning

As a coach and recruiter, I spend a lot of time helping others step into their value, whether that’s in the job market or the business world. But if I’m being honest, there’s one area in my business that still feels sticky: sales calls.

Even after years of experience, I sometimes catch myself thinking: 

• If I land the business, will I be able to deliver in a way that proves I’m worth it?

• If they say yes, I need to prove I’m worth what I charge.

There’s this quiet but persistent belief that in order to be seen as valuable and worthy of being paid, I have to perform my services a certain way.

Where That Story Started

When I trace the roots of this belief, it brings me back to school. I struggled with math and reading comprehension. I internalized the message that not being strong in those areas wasn’t acceptable. That I wasn’t acceptable unless I could prove otherwise.

From a young age, I learned that performance and achievement equaled approval. So now, as an adult, when I’m selling my services, that old wiring kicks in. Suddenly, the sales call doesn’t feel like a conversation; it feels like a proving ground.

The Process I Used to Coach Myself and How I’d Support a Client Through It

1. Slow it down. Get curious. What’s the story you're telling yourself about what needs to happen on this call? What are you afraid it means if you don’t “nail it”?

   
   

2. Go to the root. Where did this belief start? Who taught you that being “enough” meant showing up a certain way?

   
   

3. Separate performance from worth. Your offer can be powerful, your service valuable, even if you stumble, pause, or fumble a word. Worth is not conditional. 

   
   

4. Bring compassion to the inner child. What did that younger version of you need to hear that they didn’t? Can you offer that now?

   
   

5. Rethink what success looks like. Instead of putting pressure on yourself to “win the client,” what if the goal of the call was simply to connect? To see if it’s a mutual fit, to understand their needs, or to share what you offer, no strings attached.

When the goal shifts from proving yourself to being present, there’s more room for genuine connection (which often leads to better outcomes anyway).

I’m still unlearning the idea that I have to “get it right” to be enough. And maybe you are too.

This is the kind of inner work I support my clients with, helping them show up in work, business, or everyday life from a place of trust instead of pressure.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you.

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